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FADING
Definition of Fading: The word "fading" means
gradually leaving the Watchtower Society as contrasted to suddenly leaving by either disassociating your ownself usually done
by letter or else being declared disfellowshipped by Watchtower’s Elders which is where they formally pronounce that
you are "no longer a Jehovah's Witnesses" and so kicked out then rigidly shunned often in such extreme and cruel
fashion that some people prefer death and a few actually do suicide. In fading you are making your presence felt less and less in the congregation until
you are almost invisible, not missed, so that you can quietly leave.
Before making a decision to Fade, there
are a few issues we need to consider first. Focus on other Jehovah’s Witnesses in your immediate congregation or others
who have “disappeared” from the Kingdom Hall. What was the congregation’s reaction? Was there
a lot of talk in field service about them? Did they leave without getting disfellowshipped? Are there any Elders
known for investigating inactive publishers? If married, what will your spouse say? Do you have children? Are
most of your relatives and friends Witnesses? (Which long-lost helpful non-JW relatives might you be able to locate
via facebook.com etc?) Depending on your answers to these questions, it might not be necessary for you
to fade. You may be able to leave without delay, but this will always be riskier than fading. (They may think you are just
ill and have many call or visit you.) Some have quit without a word, but it might be prudent to wait a few months and
feel out others react to your missing meetings. Stop commenting immediately or just read a scripture. You don’t
want to call undue attention to yourself by what you say. Out of the mouth pours forth the heart. (Matt 12:34)
Since Jehovah’s Witnesses do not have book study
groups anymore in homes, it is actually easier to start missing meetings. Start slowly.
1. Have an Exit Plan
Although this sounds paranoid, scheduling the pace
of your fade might keep you from slipping away too quickly and getting noticed. You don’t want to get into arguments
with family members who are desperate to reactivate you spiritually. Stop commenting and get off ministry school right
away. Be prepared with a reason to explain why, if asked. Plan each of the next steps in advance.
If you answered yes to any of the above questions you
need too: 2. Make new Friends.
You’ll need emotional support when you leave.
Do not try and go it alone. Before fading, get closer to family that are not witnesses and be the best Christian you can be
with your Witness family members. They will need to see you as a decent person, not angry, this cuts down on shunning from
some of them.
3. Seek
advice and association from those who’ve done it.
It can be risky to contact other former members, but finding support groups from ex- witnesses
on the internet is easier and a low risk solution. We provide contacts at the end if this article. Don’t
use your real name, city etc. Some elders attend these sites also, taking names. In the meantime, arrive just
before start of each JW meeting. Leave when they say amen. Don’t tarry around. Associate less and less.
Always be rushed to go somewhere. 4. Have excuses ready and cover your tracks.
If you aren’t in field service regularly, how will you explain your hours? Low
hours are acceptable now, even 15 minutes. Lean heavily on the fact that you do informal witnessing. If you miss
meetings on Sunday, some over zealous witnesses will try and check your story. Miss every other one.
When Fading, create a list of topics you can switch
to when talking to persistent witnesses. Memorize it so you don’t stutter or pause, which makes it harder for the witness
to interrupt. If Family, talk about sickness or something dealing with other family members. (Deflecting away from you.)
Comment on their new car, hair style, be sincere, and be in a rush to go somewhere. Keep your coat by the door.
5. Make yourself Hard to reach.
Get caller ID. Know your Elders’ numbers and
the kingdom hall number when you see it. Get rid of voice mail. Don’t let them leave messages. It will become
suspicious after a while if you don’t return calls to the elders! Of course that means for a while
no one can leave you messages, that is a very small price to pay. If they just drop by, cough or be on the phone etc.
Ask if they could please call first next time. Remember, elders are not above common courtesy, and you are not a child or
slave. The Bible is correct: The fear of man lays a snare (Prov 29:25). Stand up to them, insist they call first. They
will probably leave you alone if you exhibit manly qualities.
6. Beware of persistent Witness friends.
As Jehovah’s Witnesses know they are to report on one another. Some may
also try to trick you into stating your doubts. To do so, some even pretend to have doubts about the Governing Body,
the Watchtower Society, etc thus inviting you as a fader to do the same. Sad to say, your enemy may be of your own household
or the one who lies closest to your bosom.
Within hours, days or likely no more than a few weeks you will get a
visit from two elders to establish any negative report. It will be an apostasy meeting! Yes, they will tell you
their purpose in coming is to build you up but in fact they will be there to judge you for disfellowshipping, emotional harm.
Remember that if they decide you are an apostate, you will lose the support and association of all your family, friends and
any business associate who are Witnesses.
If you have made a previous appointment with them, keep it. Say what they want
to hear if cornered. For example you might say something such as “Nothing against you or anyone,
I’m depressed these days. Or carefully stay polite and say very few words, perhaps noting something
such as “The Bible says a wise person doesn’t say a lot.”
The big main question that Elders
or someone acting on their behalf asks is usually “Do you think this is Jehovah’s organization?” The
hope is that you will say Yes so that they can have you shunned. Or you may be asked "do you think the
Watchtower Society is right about everything?" This is more subtle but the goal is the same. They
want you to say “No,” as this will also be usable to have you declared a non-JW to be shunned. At least so far they cannot announce
you are no longer a JW just because you are inactive or because you are politely turning down their requests for making
a shepherding call – although, note, if they judge your attitude as “brazen” they can if they so choose.
Due to this new use of Watchtower’s provision to disfellowship by virtue of “brazen conduct,” these
days you might or might not get by with saying: “I am depressed,” “I’m too busy,” “I
don’t feel well,” “I’ll contact them when ready,” etc to put them off.
If you mention feeling depressed, etc, they may reply with something like, “Oh,
what depresses you?” and you can say something like, “Well, this old system has lasted so long. I
know it’ll end any second, but still... it’s difficult.” They may then have you read
some scripture but likely will also leave you alone, at least for a while.
Given the training from the men at the desks of the Service Department, the local Elders are more than ever leaning toward
disfellowshipping. Some Elder(s) related to you might still be inclined to give you some breathing
space, but also some Elders might reason, especially if you are a relative of theirs, that giving you the boot, might
show a real "zeal" that would enhance their standing within the Watchtower organization, and so be even more
inclined to go after you. It’s hard to predict, so err on the side of caution. Possibly you will be hounded no matter what and even if you moved from one continent
to another. Indeed if one Body Of Elders knows the other congregation to which you will be moving, Watchtower
orders that they are to send a letter to the other group telling what they think of you. Further, if they
have suspicion you are or ever have been an apostate by deed or thought, they can warn the other congregation’s Body
Of Elders to take special precautions. You may be subjected to years of abuse due to the letter which by
the way Watchtower orders that you are never to be allowed to read. Saying to an Elder "I just don't
want to go to the meetings any more" can also be grounds for their getting rid of you, announcing "So-And-So is
no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses" which is automatically followed by your being disfellowshipped, that is cruelly
shunned. Note that if you calmly state to an Elder or Elders
that you will sue them if they announce you are no longer a JW, then if they do so anyway you must be prepare to actually
sue. Toward this end, you may want to find out in advance if they have enough money to make it worth the time and
money that it will cost for you to get them into court. Also, to help for going into court, have as much documentation
as possible such as signed and dated statements from others whom they may have hounded or stalked in the past.
7. Check current Watchtower literature for upcoming discussions on how to treat
apostates and ones that have left. Particularly how shepherding calls are to be handled. The magazines are printed in advance on the Watchtower’s official website.
Depending on what they say, this may or may not be the best time to fade, although if you wait it may get even harder to do
so. Also you know your own local and personal circumstances best. What works for one person even in the same kingdom
hall may not work as well for another person, or vice versa.
8. Move to Another Congregation!
For many this is very helpful. Do not get to know the new congregation, make
no friends, then just stop going. They are not that diligent. You may get lost in the shuffle if you are not too
verbal. Sometimes it is good to be considered “weak” as “weak ones” do not matter much
among the Witnesses as much as those who laud the Watchtower Society and or its Governing Body.
After Fading:
You can use new Christian freedom to read, learn and
study the Bible without a herd mentality. You can have independent thinking and not just the thinking of the Governing
Body. You can fellowship and discuss the Bible without fear of your thoughts. By listening to others’ viewpoints,
you might learn something.
To actually
talk to ex-Witnesses in a spirit of love and fellowship call every Saturday night at 6pm CST (Chicago time) 732-432-8710 pin
9925#. We have all been there. We understand. And, yes, we do believe you. Some
Watchtower experiences have indeed been more harrowing and cultic for some than for others.
You may feel "weak" but actually you are powerful. Watchtower is
afraid of you because when people fade out or otherwise leave they still remember the addresses of other Jehovah's Witnesses,
and it's easy for those who want to to mail their friends and family who are still in it to inform them so that they too
may fade out, thus depriving Watchtower of even more time, money, energy and credibility.
Unlike in past years, those fading out of Watchtower have numerous options.
There are live webcasts that have been held or via the websites. See the announcement section or contact an administrator
for more info. We accept that you may prefer anonymity as with the use of pen names, modifying your voice
by keeping your tongue to the roof of your mouth, etc. Those using webcams or posting photos may elect
to modify their appearances.
Again, we do understand. Watchtower-style disfellowshipping
is not mild shunning or avoidance, but is shunning applied to the extreme, so severe some have suicided. The
way of Christ, though, is gentle, light and refreshing. This article has been prepared to help you go more
easily from Watchtower to Christ.
In any case we wish well for all fading out of Watchtower.
For some it may take years to feel at 100%, for others it can be a lot quicker, especially since there are so many websites and voice forums that may be of benefit to you, for example: http://www.friendsofjehovahswitnesses.com, http://www.christianwitnesses.com, http://www.freeminds.org, http://www.sixscreensofthewatchtower.com/, http://www.brci.org http://www.meetup.com http://www.facebook.com
So,
that's it! You may also want to run off copies of this in whole or part to mail others to help them also to more
easily fade from Watchtower. Re-visit time to time as there will sometimes be updates.
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